"There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect...and yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way."

- Wasted, Marya Hornbacher

I am going to live and be grateful for this day and each day to come. I'll be a better daughter and a better friend and a better person and I'll recognize that I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others. I'll wait for this hole in my chest to get smaller, because I know it will eventually. I can hope a relationship comes out of it, but I won't expect one. I'll stop waiting--ok, that's a lie. I'll try to stop waiting, and I think that's all I can ask of myself right now, and that's really all you can ask of me too. I've got all of these resources available to me and all of these people who I know care about me and it's just a matter of applying said resources and asking for help when I need it and recognizing that I don't need to be punished for small and really, rather trivial things. I don't deserve to be punished. I'm actually not a bad person, and I care about other people and I think I need to care about myself a little bit more than I do currently.