Classes were uneventful. I fell asleep in Sociology, sat with my arms around myself in Global Politics to keep everything contained, and contemplated the existence of God in philosophy--still an atheist.

I've been combing message histories and old facebook e-mails for some kind of indication that it did actually happen and it wasn't all just in my head. Logically I realize it did, and that still doesn't make this hole in my chest any smaller. Makes it worse, actually. There's nothing more attractive than that one thing you just can't have.

I feel melancholy, so I've been saving archives of A Softer World to make things better. It helps, but I need to go read Chaucer and write character synposes and be a productive university student and push everything else out for a few hours.

It is constantly on the peripheries my mind and I'm a little terrified.