I've been having some strange dreams lately, and they all seem to involve people I actually know--since when are dreams that straightforward?
In the first dream, I somehow ended up getting back together with Robin. Even dreaming, I had this sense of what-the-hell-is-going-on-here, and feeling as though it was out of my control and now that I was back with him it was something I couldn't get out of even though I knew it was a mistake. I'll be honest, I was relieved when I woke up and realized it hadn't happened.
Second dream is a bit fuzzier, but stranger and longer. Uptown Saint John with Fin and Zara, in Scheherazade before it moved locations. Browsing through books and somehow things go from Fantastic to Awful with Fin in 60 seconds, which is how it always works with him. I'm in the dream as though I'm an outside observer for a moment, and I can see the two of us fighting and remember feeling that Zara would disapprove of me being mean to her brother, but maybe she could see a different side of him, too. For some reason I take off my shoes and socks and walk from uptown Saint John to home. It's overcast but not raining, and my feet are freezing by the end of it. Toughened by glass and gravel, coated with burgundy gummy dried blood mixed with the red wetness of new blood by the time I get home.
When I wake up, I check my feet and see that they're fine. Remember that the only contact I have with Fin is drunk dialing, and try and figure out how things got this bad when he said I was one of his best friends and I told him he was one of mine. Realize it's not worth mulling over, and go back to reading Someday This Pain Will be Useful to You.
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