I just want to be happy.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to be happy.
(I'm hoping if I say it enough, it'll actually happen. I am utterly sick of feeling this way, and I'm sick of myself, most days. I just want out of this fucking hole I've dug myself into. My words are stilted and nothing is really making much sense and I'm a second out of sync and I just want to be ok. I'm sick of writing letters I'll never send, and I'm sick of you thinking it's about you. It's not. You were not my reason for anything, you were an amazing person in my life and I fell in love with you and I don't see why that is such a bad thing. Yes, I relied on you. Yes, I was dependent. You said yourself, though--you relied too. You were getting dependent too...and my head is going in circles).
Fuck this. I have a paper to write.
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